Medical Jokes: Crazy Patients

Crazy Patients

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room.

He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.
Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.
The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing.
The patient replied, “Can’t you see I’m sawing this piece of wood in half?”
The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing.
Patient #1 replied, “Oh. He’s my friend, but he’s a little crazy. He thinks he’s a lightbulb.”
The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2’s face is going all red.
The doctor asks Patient #1, “If he’s your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself”
Patient #1 replies, “What? And work in the dark?

Good and Bad News

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?”
Patient: “Well, give me the bad news first.”
Doctor: “You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.”
Patient: “Oh no! That’s awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this??”
Doctor: “You also have Alzheimer’s. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.”

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14 Responses to Medical Jokes: Crazy Patients

  1. Squad October 10, 2012 at 2:50 AM #

    cool jokes.. ..

  2. Mubarek AL-Amin October 10, 2012 at 1:18 AM #

    Doctor want to test 3 crazy guys so he asked them to go in the picture of a door. 2 tried to make it through! only one of them looked like funny face so the doctor wanted to ask how come are you not trying; Patient said they’re crazy i’ve the keys.
    an ants run behind an ambulance? the jumpo asked why trying to chase the ambulance ants said likes to donate bloodz’

  3. sajida October 9, 2012 at 11:23 PM #

    jokes are to read and enjoy.good stuff to laugh.plz dont manipulate them.

  4. sharif123 October 9, 2012 at 4:19 PM #


  5. AbdulRahman October 9, 2012 at 3:06 PM #

    Very interesting indeed.

  6. Anu October 9, 2012 at 2:36 PM #

    Very Funny………

  7. Najeeb October 9, 2012 at 2:24 PM #

    Let these be jokes only……..

  8. Zafar Iqbal September 5, 2012 at 6:56 PM #

    Thanks Sara.

    And thank you, Mr Syed Mazhar Hussain. That was too much!

  9. Osman March 25, 2012 at 12:25 PM #

    ???? ??? ??? ??? ?????

  10. Dori786 November 12, 2011 at 8:10 PM #


  11. Syed Mazhar Hussain November 11, 2011 at 7:12 PM #

    But I have another version of 2nd story:

    After an operation, doctor tells his patient who met with an accident: ” “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?” Patient: “Well, give me the bad news first.” Doctor: “During operation we had to cut your both legs” Patient: “Oh no! That’s awefull! Now I will have to be dependent on wheelchair! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this??” Doctor: “That patient next to you is ready to buy your shoes for 200 rupees”

  12. Mubarek Alamin85 November 11, 2011 at 1:19 PM #

    This why I like to be a Anti-schizophrenia physician….. it works out for all your body pain therapy.   

  13. Abier November 11, 2011 at 7:16 AM #

    lol xD

  14. abdul November 29, 2010 at 4:58 AM #

    very interesting jokes