A doctor is to give a speech at the function for Doctors Association. He jots down notes for his speech. Unfortunately, when he stands in front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can’t read his notes. So he asks, “Is there a pharmacist in the house?” ————– A miracle drug is […]
Tag Archives | medical jokes
Medical Jokes: Insane Asylum
Insane Asylum A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, “Fourteen! […]
Medical Jokes: Crazy Patients
Crazy Patients A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. […]
Smoking is a slow poison – Short Jokes
Dentist (to the patient): For God’s sake, stop making those noises and waving your arms. I haven’t even touched your tooth yet. Patient : Yes, I know. But u’re standing on my foot. ————————————————————- Doctor: Smoking is a slow poison for you. Patient: It’s all-right. I’m not in a hurry. ————————————————————- Tim: Doctor, can you diagnose […]
Doctor & Patient – Funny Medical Jokes
Joke 1 While teaching his students, a doctor points out an x-ray to a group of medical students. “As you can see,” he says, “the patient limps because his leg bones are bent.” The doctor turns to one of the students and asks, “What would you do in a case like this?” “Well,” says the […]
The Aching Tooth – Short Jokes
Medical Jokes “Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?” “Yes, of course…” “Great! I never could before!” Dentist & Patient (more…)
Funny Patients & Doctor – Medical Jokes
Medical Jokes Husband: Doctor my wife thinks she’s a dish antenna. Doctor: Its a psychiatric problem, but I can cure her. Husband: No doctor, don’t cure her, just tell me how do I adjust it to my favorite channel. ——————————————— Nurse: Doctor, the man you’ve just treated died on the entrance of our clinic ? […]
Secret of Long & Happy Life
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said.”What’s your secret for a long happy life?” “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a full-fat milk bottle a day, eat fatty foods, […]
Doctor & a Fat lady
Patient: I have spent 80% of my life’s savings on doctors. Doctor : Why didn’t you come to me earlier? ——————————- A fat lady: (To a health expert). Give me some advice that can reduce my fatness. (more…)
Mental Hospital
Javid and Zaki were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Javid suddenly jumped into the swimming pool and stayed there in the bottom. Zaki promptly jumped in to save him. He swam to the bottom of the pool and pulled Javid out. The Medical […]