If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)
A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.