The words reverberated through my brain. Why? Am I not good enough? Never! I will never accept a second wife! If you want a second wife you can go out and get one as long as you know that I will not be here when you come back!
Those were my words to my husband a few years ago when he mentioned to me that he is intending to marry again a second time. It was a woman recently divorced, 4 children. She is having a hard time, he said, she don’t know where the next meal is coming from or how to provide adequately for her children. “Where is their father?” I asked, “Can’t he take care of his own kids? Why do you a strange man have to carry another man’s burden? Surely there are other ways that you can help her out financially without having to MARRY her!
I could not imagine myself in a plural marriage. Sharing my husband with another woman. Sharing his love, his smiles, his jokes with a woman other than myself. I could not fathom him holding her close and whispering loving words in her ears. It was unacceptable. An outrage. After all I have been to him. Wife, lover, mother, doctor, housekeeper. I raised 3 of his beautiful children. How can he insult me by marrying another woman as if I am not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not young enough or just plain not ENOUGH!
NO! I could not accept that and I vehemently made my stance clear to him. If she walks in, I walk out! Plain and simple. If he is willing to risk our marriage, our life, our children for another woman, then he must go ahead. I will not stand for it!
It all seems so many years ago now. When I thought that life would last forever and that nothing will ever change. But it did..
My husband did not get married to a second wife. After all my warnings and threats of leaving he abandoned the idea. I don’t know what happened to the women and children. My guess is that they moved on to another town.
He never mentioned a second wife again and I was happy with that. I managed to hang on to my husband but I didn’t know that our time was running out.
His last words to me were that he had a headache and is going to lie down till Esha. He never read Esha namaaz that night, because he never woke up.
I was devastated by his sudden death. The man whom I have spent my life with, snatched away from me in a second. I mourned him for a long, long time.
Neglecting my children and the business. Soon all went to waste and we started losing everything one by one. First the car then the shop, then the house.
We moved Jeddah with my brother and his family. My 3 children and I crowded the house and my sister in law soon became annoyed by our presence. I needed to get out, to work and find a place of our own instead of living off the leftovers of others. But I had no skill.
When my husband was alive we lived comfortably. I had no need to go out and work or or equip myself with a skill. Life was very difficult for me and my children and I wasn’t young anymore. I missed him everyday with every beat of my heart. How could ones condition change so drastically?
One day my brother told me that someone he knew is looking for a wife. He was a good person, good akhlaq (manners) and very pious. Perfect for me, but he wants me to be his second wife.
It’s the second time in my life that the word second wife was mentioned to me. But how different the circumstances.
He came to my brothers house to see me. There was an immediate connection between us. I liked him and I liked everything about him. He told me that his first wife knows that he is intending to marry again but that she is obviously not supportive of the idea and that he doesn’t know what her reaction will be when he tells her that he had found someone. His answer he said, will be dependent on her acceptance of Polygamy.
I started reading Istikhara that night. I so desperately wanted it to work out. I remembered so many years ago when the life of another woman depended on my decision and what my decision was. I felt contrite, I felt that because I did not give another woman a chance, a space in my life, that Allah will punish me this time around. I repented, not once in my life did I think my action worthy of repentance because I had done nothing wrong. I only protected what was mine.
Now that I am on the receiving end, I realized how wrong I was in denying another woman this PRIVILEGE of a husband.
I prayed that she will accept me.
He phoned me a few days later telling me that his wife is having a hard time accepting it but that she is willing to meet me.
I was nervous the day of the meeting. I prayed a lot the day before and asked Allah to help me. When I met her, she was a person, a woman like me . A woman who loves her husband and fears losing him.
She took my hand and with tears in her eyes said: ” This is very hard for me, but I hope that we can be sisters”..
Her words broke my heart. All I needed in these dark days was a hand reaching out to me and embracing me, giving me hope and the will to carry on.
His wife was to me, the woman that I could not be and I will be forever grateful for that. I thought that no one could love her husband the way I loved mine, but she taught me the true meaning of unconditional love.
This is a Fictional Story meant for a lesson, Please share if you like the story.
Shared by FFJ Reader
Really a heart touching story …..it will create positivity to concentric Muslim women to share her husband to helpless women who need a husband for life as a shelter …… thanks writer
The person who intented to marry a second wife , didnt have the capacity to keep his first wife spiritually happy and financially secured! This atttitude is more burdening the existing life!
Nice story
Yeah absolutely 🙂
Good justification for a second marriage 🙂
Sana, I hope you are not married yet!
a men or women should not do two marry
funny funny jokes. org really lives up to its name! this is a very funny story lol!
the second marriage a story that will make you laugh! lol
lol! so it means.. muslim girls are dumb! because she didnt have skill… i see a lot of other girls belonging to other religions who are doing everything just not be like her! DAMN this moronic religion is just justifying why they can marry for a second or third or fourth time! lol WHY not just admit that muslim man are just plain pervert, maniac who cant live with just one pussy! lol you make me laugh!
Nope ! Muslim girls are not dumb. You are misinformed 🙂
Dear Ungas i feel sorry for you and the way you think it makes me sad.. You do not realize that any one can have a life but a family life…
Brother let me tell you that islam is the best way of living your life.What the editor is trying to convey is different,you are taking it out of context.Islam will allow you to marry four times only if you will be able to take care of all of them.You should not hurt anyone of your wives then islam allows it.Otherwise its a sin.brother let me tell you one thing do you know the ratio of man:woman in world at this stage,men are less and women are more.let us suppose for a time being that your sister is on receiving end.Will her children not require a FATHER?Does she herself not require a man?Instead of falling into dirty relations Islam allows her to merry with a married or unmarried guy and if unmarried guy doesn’t want to merry your sister.Brother please tell me now that what would you like for your sister,to be enjoyed by many guys or to merry with a married man.
I really like it. So emotional story,…
It truly is Rafat 🙂
Hello brother, lets take it another way..what do you think peoples belongs to other religions have marry with just one women? No they have thousands of unofficial marriages ? every night every day!!! they don’t think who is she just fuck her and go ahead, this is how they love there life. But Muslim has sex just only with his wives.
what do u think why ratio of rape cases in non-Muslim word is very very high than Muslim word?as in the word women are about 60% and men about 40% if every men have just one wife then what would be about other 20%? they will move towards sex without merry, and buried their social and personal life.
that is way Islam allow second marriage with a condition of justice between both and if someone cannot do justice between his wives he will be punished at the day of judgment.
hope you will understand.
Subhan’Allah!
Amazing article. Ridiculous comments!
What kind of nasty, unfeeling woman would willingly ruin someone else’s family? Women, you DO NOT have to tolerate this filthy treatment. Polygyny was a limited permission for a specific time and circumstance, LIKE SLAVERY, it has no place in our time. NONE. (PS: The people who say women outnumber men in the world are lying, the ratio is about even worldwide, except for those over 70, and in most Muslim-majority countries, MEN OUTNUMBER WOMEN.)
Get yourself a fallback plan for if your husband dies. Get skills and education, so you don’t have to throw yourself on anyone’s charity.
Don’t fall for this animalistic, self-serving BS from these men. Allah swt does not ask you, or your CHILDREN, to spend your lives in misery because some man wants to look like a bigshot by having two or more women.
I grew up in such a household and have seen many others and it is never like this. People always get hurt and men are not capable of treating women equally and i would question their original intention for such an arrangement. There are other ways to help women in such a state that do not involve bedding her (again this is my household state and I declined all such marriage prposals and we are surviving Alhamdullah)
@ Dinu…..
Nice feedback….. super like…..
@ Dinu…
Nice reply…. super like…
I personaly…. think that 2nd marriage is supportable…. if my wife dies i will live my life alone….. with my children… but….. i will not marry anyone alse cause i love my wife more then i love my self i love my children also…. and if my wife dies i will not let my children to feel her absence…. i will be the greatest father and greatest husband…. in the world… and i know for sure that if i die my wife will die trying her rebel best to remove her misery by being in her limits thinking about my prestige and my love….. but she also will not marry another person… because she loves me more then i love her…… and i love her like “body and sole”….. she along with our children are my life…. i myself along with our chilren are her life….. i love my wife like i would visit hell anytime just to be with her…
so about second marrage forget it no chance…… and second marrage is like disrespecting one’s wife/husband…. like killing your wife/husband willingly with your own hands…….
Sorry….. i was supposed to say……..
second marriage is completely unsupportable….
if you love your husband/wife do not let his/her belongings to others…. do not disrespect him/her….
Not a woman should depend only on husband or brothers or father. They should be independent for this kind of situation where she has to beg for other ppl’s mercy. I don’t support this story at all. Life is not like a fairy tale. I know real life story where a widow kicked the woman with her two children from her house and married her husband. This widow was that wretched woman’s husband’s sister-in-law. Her husband died and the poor woman gave her shelter in her own house thinking that where she would go with her orphan children. THis widow give her return by marrying her husband and kicked her out with her daughters and ruined the daughter’s life forever. Story and real life are not the same. That poor woman got married with a widower and her second husband never accepted her previous marriage daughters. They raised by their grandparents and got married to poor ppl. They are my distant relatives.
Asalaamu Aleikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu.
Please refrain from hearsay, and innuendos rather refer to the book of Allah and the Sunna of Mohamed Rasul lillah salaalahu aleihi wasalaam.
In the holy Quran, there are chapters and verses dealing with all aspects of marriage, and polygamy. Allah’s Ayahs, and signs are very clear and don’t warrant any debate of who is wrong and who’s right among the people debating on this subject.
Also, when you are responding to a question or comments, please answer amicably to questions you are very knowledgeable in. Enlighten the forum, rather than ridiculing and insulting each other.
Below is a verse from Sura an Nisaa
4:3
And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].
Also, below is another well researched read from an Islamic scholar
Polygamy
Polygamy was a way of life until the Quran was revealed 1400 years ago. When the earth was young and under-populated, polygamy was one way of populating it and bringing in the human beings needed to carry out God’s plan. By the time the Quran was revealed, the world had been sufficiently populated, and the Quran put down the first limitations against polygamy.
Polygamy is permitted in the Quran, but under strictly observed circumstances. Any abuse of this divine permission incurs severe retribution. Thus, although polygamy is permitted by God, it behooves us to examine our circumstances carefully before saying that a particular polygamous relationship is permissible.
Our perfect example here is the prophet Muhammad. He was married to one wife, Khadijah, until she died. He had all his children, except one, from Khadijah. Thus, she and her children enjoyed the Prophet’s full attention for as long as she was married to him; twenty-five years. For all practical purposes, Muhammad had one wife – from the age of 25 to 50. During the remaining 13 years of his life, he married the aged widows of his friends who left many children. The children needed a complete home, with a fatherly figure, and the Prophet provided that. Providing a fatherly figure for orphans is the only specific circumstance in support of polygamy mentioned in the Quran (4:3).
Other than marrying widowed mothers of orphans, there were three political marriages in the Prophet’s life. His close friends Abu Bakr and Omar insisted that he marry their daughters, Aisha and Hafsah, to establish traditional family ties among them. The third marriage was to Maria the Egyptian; she was given to him as a political gesture of friendship from the ruler of Egypt.
This perfect example tells us that a man must give his full attention and loyalty in marriage to his wife and children in order to raise a happy and wholesome family.
The Quran emphasizes the limitations against polygamy in very strong words: “If you fear lest you may not be perfectly equitable in treating more than one wife, then you shall be content with one.” (4:3) “You cannot be equitable in a polygamous relationship, no matter how hard you try.” (4:129)
The Quranic limitations against polygamy point out the possibility of abusing God’s law. Therefore, unless we are absolutely sure that God’s law will not be abused, we had better resist our lust and stay away from polygamy. If the circumstances do not dictate polygamy, we had better give our full attention to one wife and one set of children. The children’s psychological and social well-being, especially in countries where polygamy is prohibited, almost invariably dictate monogamy. A few basic criteria must be observed in contemplating polygamy:
1. It must alleviate pain and suffering and not cause any pain or suffering.
2. If you have a young family, it is almost certain that polygamy is an abuse.
3. Polygamy to substitute a younger wife is an abuse of God’s law (4:19).
Wabilallahi towfiq.
@ MALKAMARI
No metter what ever you say so me and my wife will not support second marriage….. imagen if you fall into this situation… would alow a second marriage while both of you are alive and ok…..????
@Irtiza, no evidence appears neither in the Qur’an nor sunnah requiring the permission of the first wife if her husband wishes to marry another wife, and therefore he is not required to ask her permission. However, he needs to be judicious in taking this decision and to weigh it carefully with respect to benefits and drawbacks and to look with the eye of wisdom at all of the considerations pertaining to the matter, and he should strive all he can to conciliate, reassure, and satisfy his first wife, in order to ease and mitigate the effect of the matter upon her.
Mashaa allah very well said. …
I call this nothing but brain washing women!
For my dear brothers and sister who question” why not just support the sister instead of marrying” Well that is easily said then done. There are many hadiths in which the prophet warns muslim men and women alike to observe the Hijab/lower the gaze– there are not a woman and man alone that shaytan is not 3rd to them. For this reason, shaytan will eventually come between these two people, and eventually haram will come. For this very reason, men/women should limit/avoid excessive interactions with people of the opposite gender. Also, what spouse will allow her husband to go and continuously help another woman whom he has no relationship with? Will shaytan not bring filthy ideas into her head? THus creating a divide between the married spouses.
Also, it was the prophet’s practice to inform his wives before getting married. Every single wife the prophet married there was a reason behind– and allah knows best. It is not our place to judge, but to seek the Islamic knowledge. Remember, you never know when ALLAH WILL TEST YOU BASED UPON WHAT YOU”VE WRITTEN! Beware of falsehood!
THis is a beautiful story, one to take guidance from…
@ Muslima, Beautifully said, I agree
Second marriage when first living. Can not imagine. Let this be a story to get some tears
just a test mail
nothing to write
I wonder what Amina thinks of concubines when she’s so averse to something that the Messenger salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam did, i.e. marrying more than one wife, and other Messengers alayhimus salam and many of the Sahaba radhiyallahu anhuma, and many Muslims of the past and present.
If what you say is true then all these people may Allah reward and be pleased with all of them are wrong and you are right. Astaghfirullah!
If you’re so averse to polygamy I do not want to know what you think about the taking of concubines; something that men in wartime did from the beginnings of warfare and by almost every nation that engaged in war; Muslim and non Muslim.
Look in Quran how many wives Dawud ‘alayhi salam had.
By the way, polygamy existed eons before the completion of Islam. It was practiced by multitudes of men, I don’t need to go further, if you doubt what I say go into history and you will see.
It’s funny how averse some women are to polygamy but none of them question when it comes to the dowry.
I do not wish to send a reply to kerkata and go down to your level of foul words and unprecedented accusations both for Muslim men and women, however your sick ideas make it hard to tolerate them further seeing as you have greatly failed to examine the strong and foul words you have been using. In referrence to the f* and s* words, have you failed to contemplate that THOSE things are exactly how most westerm women are being treated…? And that’s without any value of some sort as you are used and left the next morning by that person and does he care about your well-being at all…? No! F* and S* are the exact thing that takes place in your society and you say that you are against it with vile words and shallow disposition to attack the religion..? You have greatly failed to THINK and UNDERSTAND what the religion entails same way as you were deluded by this sick society of yours that you yourself has submitted in actuality and wholeheartedly to the words (f* & s*) you have used offensively against these people. You are the one doing the things you accuse them of. Pity that you don’t see that because you consent to be treated like s*…. and I’m sorry for what you are. Really…
I do not wish to send a reply to kerkata and go down to your level of foul words and unprecedented accusations both for Muslim men and women, however your sick ideas make it hard to tolerate them further seeing as you have greatly failed to examine the strong and foul words you have been using. In referrence to the f* and s* words, have you failed to contemplate that THOSE things are exactly how most westerm women are being treated…? And that’s without any value of some sort as you are used and left the next morning by that person and does he care about your well-being at all…? No! F* and S* are the exact thing that takes place in your society and you say that you are against it with vile words and shallow disposition to attack the religion..? You have greatly failed to THINK and UNDERSTAND what the religion entails same way as you were deluded by this sick society of yours that you yourself has submitted in actuality and wholeheartedly to the words (f* & s*) you have used offensively against these people. You are the one doing the things you accuse them of. Pity that you don’t see that because you consent to be treated like s*…. and I’m sorry for what you are.
Your a selfish peice of shit
As Muslim women we have to be open to the idea.
You are enough of a woman, he loves you even more than when you met.
We have to be.open to the idea and stop being jealous.
So many women are being left widowed because of the wars, they need help
That’s the reason Islam allows polygamy. This case sounds genuine.
Mashallah sounds very genuine this case ,so hail to polygamy.yes I mean it rather than two timing, or a secret affair,so sooooorrry their ain’t affairs any more sleep with as many possible or partners which some will describe girlfriends. One week Laura then next Karen then another it goes on behind the back. At least this way it’s transparent and open .well done polygamy.
Dear other commentors
Let me start of by saying that we all tend to get emotional when it comes to religion which is because we are passionate about our beliefs and passion is great however it also closes our minds and until we are willing to open our minds we will never truly know Islam. I would like to give my point of view (which no one has to agree with) with the best of my knowledge which I believe to be true but which may or may not be accurate and/or complete.(my knowledge that is) and I say this because a lot of people claim that they know everything and what they say is correct. I believe that they are like a person who can see and hear but whose eyes and ears are closed. Anyways…
Firstly, this story may be true or just made up to give a point of view. In either case it is ok. because it is still one persons point of view wether the lady who is recounting their true story or the author who imagined it. Here is my take.
We are imperfect beings but we have the capacity to be better than angels or worse than the devil. How we proceed is our choice.
The Quran and Sunna’ are guidance for us. They are perfect set of instructions however even perfect instructions can be used for ill means if the intent is not pure. However, those that try to use various interpretations for their own sakes will be judged accordingly on judgement day and are not worth our time here.
I do not think that man has been given the AUTHORITY to marry. Marriage is a Sunna’ but not FARZ.
Secondly, to marry even once, a man needs the approval of the would be WIFE. She has to AGREE willfully to the marriage for it to take place and so for a second marriage, the man does not have any more authority than the first time in fact he needs the approval of BOTH wives willfully agreeing to it.
Thirdly, just like a man would not marry before he is stable financially and able to support a family, likewise again the same rule applies that before making the decision to support a second wife and possible additional children, a man needs to know that he would be able to support all of them.
Finally, as human beings, and as men, we are not perfect and therefore cannot precisely be expected to treat both wives and both families completely equally however Allah has instructed us to do so to the best of our abilities and if we feel that we cannot do that then even if we are able to support and our wives agree to the second marriage, we should not as we would be committing a sin by being unfair to one of them so it is a responsibility rather than an authority.
Lastly, to those who ask why marry? why not support without marriage? Well, many reasons for that. Support is not just financial. The woman also needs companionship, the children also need a father and marriage shuts everyone’s mouth and stops them from pointing fingers at you or the woman. It also commits you to help and support her and her kids permanently rather than till you feel like it. I hope this suffices to answer your and anyone else s questions. Just FYI, I am a muslim man, married 10 plus years with 2 kids and with no intention of marrying again. Thank you and I apologize if I have inadvertantly hurt anyones feelings or disagreed with anyones point of view. May Allah give all of us guidance. Ameen.
There is NO requirement WHATSOEVER to get permission from first wife if one intends to marry a second woman. It’s the husbands choice and he deals with each wife justly. This silly idea of seeking permission is made up. There is no proof from any source about this so please stop spreading lies. Thanks.
I agree. This permission from a first wife is nonsens, and a lie. God alowed the man to marry another wife as long he is just. Nobody can change Allah’s permission. Muslim women stop spread this silly lies. By the way, there is more women in the west and prophet(pbuh) told, that will be time when 1 men will be for 50 women. Allah has a knowledge and polygamy will be a need and a solution for a healthy society. Salams.
it is not required for the husband to seek permission unless that was a condition before marriage and she has a right to leave him if she wants to. It’s not that he needed her acceptence for him to get married, it’s that she threatned to leave him that he stayed.
Kaoula, it’s not permissible or valid to put anything in the marriage contract that’s haram. A stipulation saying the husband needs his wife’s permission to marry another woman is clearly haram. The two who agree to such a stipulation will be guilty of a sin for making haram what Allah gave His permission to. NO woman, no matter HOW insecure, jealous, or selfish she is, has the authority to make her husband submit to her nafs by putting a haram stipulation in their marriage contract. We are told by Allah swt to come into this deen wholeheartedly. In other words, accept ALL of it. Islam is not Christianity, and it’s not a store, where you get to pick and choose what you want, and leave the rest. Sisters need to stop listening to shaytan who keeps whispering in their ears, making them feel as if they OWN their husbands, as if their husbands are their property, or as if their husbands are some kind of a sandwich. “Oh no, sister, you can’t have any of MY sandwich. Go get your own!” This is nonsense.
Haha! Good one @ last person to leave that comment. Kermata or whatever she’s called, your’e society is so hypocritical! Talking all this crap about women not being able to do anything except because of a man’s ‘d’. You idiot, exactly what a lot of western sluts do!
Regular guy, where did you get the mistaken idea that a man needs his wife’s permission to marry another woman? It was ALLAH who said polygamy was permissible. The first, second, or even third wife’s permission is NOT needed. Be very careful trying to make haraam what Allah made halal, or making halal what Allah made haraam! That’s a guaranteed ticket to hell!
Salam alayk regular guy.
Some of what you said is well said, thank you. The one thing I would like you to elaborate on is where you got that from, that one has to ask for permission from his wife and the second woman? According to which school of fiqh does that apply?
It is enough that Allah has given His permission to men about that from what He mentions in Quran?
General statement:
If a man is able to do that; not only because he is financially strong but because he is not afraid of his first wife or afraid of what the ignorant may say to him, then he should do it. Women need to be married, it doesn’t matter whether they are ”professionals” or whatever, women need to be married, it is a protection for them, for men and society as a whole.
There are far too many Muslim women being forced into doing disgraceful things because they are in difficulty and not many men who are able are willing to take second, third and forth wives. The Messenger of Allah salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam was the most perfect of human beings. We need to look no further that his sunnah. He had 11 wives.
This last sentence is not directed at you regular guy but to men and women that frown or speak ill of or dislike polygamy. Would you frown or dislike something that Allah has made permissible and that His beloved Messenger salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and other Prophets alayhimus salam, and other Sahaba radhiyallahu anhuma, and many other people who preceded us in the Diin did?
We need to think with our intellects and act out of good intentions and pure hearts and leave our opinions which are no doubt inspired by the nafs and sometimes shayatiin aside. You may be in disagreement with things that Allah has permitted; and who knows better about His creation that the One who created it!
Ma’a salama.
very nice story, it’s can shows one reason behind the wisdom of polygamy in Islam, as on other religions too.
If Allah swt has stated that polygamy is allowed. We dont have a word to say. We need to obey his commands. A man is capable of having more than one wife as long as he can support them both. As we all know there are more men in the world than women, if each sister wants their husband for themselves, what is going to happen to all the other sisters, ao they dont have a chance to aee what married life is, only because of jealousy. Jealousy will always be there even our mothers ( prophet sallallahu alaihi wasalams) wifes were jealous. This is a Sunnah that should be revived. If this sunnah was revived then There would be less sisters who would have to live single, it is very difficult esp those sisters who are divorced or widowed.
Hi
Just a correction in your comment. I am sure you wanted to write “there are more women than me in the world”
Thanks
Salaam all,
I would not marry but support the woman, is marrying the only solution, why not financially support and treat as sister? Whats wrong with that???
Dear Kaleem,
Why did Nabi (SAW) and almost all the sahab’s did many marriages to for supporting women? Instead of make them their sisters?
And what about emotional support…
She will still be gait mahram
She will still be gair mahram if not in wedlock.because to support a Muslim ah it’s required spiritual physical mental support.seek a scholar for better advise.
Dear Sara,
Thank u for sharing such a touching story.
I would like to ask you if gents can give their views about specific second marriage which needs support to a family not for the desire of natural instinct , how great to think about those who have lost their husband and they can be taken care by some angel man and he will be rewarded for this great sacrifice and this will be great sacrifice from the wife too, if one thinks about Allah,s fear and help the helpless.
Happiness is sharing at needed time.
I really touched with your story and perhaps I do not believe that your hasty decision put you in this precarious situation and yet, Allah will help you to face the rest of your and that of your kids lives.
May Allah Shower His choicest blessing to you and your family, Ameen
Moving story….If we call ourselves Muslims,we must obey the command of Allah(SWT) and follow Sunnah of The Prophet {PBUH}. Are we not aware of the multiple Nikah/marriages by Him.We must remember his sermon as (Khutba on Hajjat ul Wida).”I am leaving behind two things QURAN & SUNNAH,if you strictly adhere,you won’t go astray”
Dear Sara, Thanks for such a beautiful story that tells everything. Those who are oppose to ALLAH’s injunctions will see their folly as soon as they become the victim. Obey ALLAH and HIS Prophet (SAW) and you will be happy.
The permission to marry a second wife stands withdrawn as ALLAH swt advised in the end that it is better for you to marry only one ALLAH swt also very categorically warned us that we shall never be able to play just between them no matter how hard we try , meaning the condition in which a second wife was allowed shall never be honoured by the would be husband of the second wife.
Shuja Khan, you only mentioned part of what Allah said about marrying only one. He said it’s better to marry only one if we fear we won’t be fair to a second, third, or fourth, not that it’s just better to marry only one than to marry more than one. Please be careful not to misquote or otherwise misrepresent the meanings of the Holy Qur’an. Doing so (misquoting or misrepresenting) will cause it to testify against you on the Day of Judgment. You REALLY don’t want that.
We all know that Allah has given men the authority to marry more than one wife, accepted.
But my question is, in this present days that everything is so difficult to get, is it allowed for a man who can barely feed one wife with two or three kids to abandoned his family responsibilities or share the responsibilities with the wife because he want to marry second wife. is the wife and children suppose to endure hunger and suffering because it is the man’s right to bring another wife? I want to know if the man is committing sin by allowing his family to surfer because he want to fulfil his right.
I would like to clarify out a few things and answer your questions in regards to your comments with the best of my knowledge which I believe to be true but which may or may not be accurate and/or complete.(my knowledge that is) and I say this because a lot of people claim that they know everything and what they say is correct. I believe that they are the biggest fools I am sorry to say. Anyways…
Firstly, I do not think that man has been given the AUTHORITY to marry. Marriage is a Sunna’ but not FARZ.
Secondly, to marry even once, a man needs the approval of the would be WIFE. She has to AGREE willfully to the marriage for it to take place and so for a second marriage, the man does not have any more authority than the first time in fact he needs the approval of BOTH wives willfully agreeing to it.
Thirdly, just like a man would not marry before he is stable financially and able to support a family, likewise again the same rule applies that before making the decision to support a second wife and possible additional children, a man needs to know that he would be able to support all of them.
Finally, as human beings, and as men, we are not perfect and therefore cannot precisely be expected to treat both wives and both families completely equally however Allah has instructed us to do so to the best of our abilities and if we feel that we cannot do that then even if we are able to support and our wives agree to the second marriage, we should not as we would be committing a sin by being unfair to once of them so it is a responsibility rather than an authority.
Lastly, to those who ask why marry? why not support without marriage? Well, many reasons for that. Support is not just financial. The woman also needs companionship, the children also need a father and marriage shuts everyone’s mouth and stops them from pointing fingers at you or the woman. It also commits you to help and support her and her kids permanently rather than till you feel like it. I hope this suffices to answer your and anyone else s questions. Thank you.
kurburat one would probably share the hadith of the prophet (saw) had one incident when all nine or seven of his wives had not a hot meal in 30 days.
Man must realize and accept Allah’s wisdom in each of His dictates and contend himself/herself to that. It is Allah who knows what is best for man.
Yet, I pray to Allah none face such a situation.
May Allah have mercy on us and may He protect us and our Imaan.
It is an impressive and good way to represent polygamy in Islam , espcially in our modern times , that the western media as well as our secular media deny polygamy , they prefer secret illegal relationship rather than true and declared marriage
A very powerful way to present polygamy as a positive thing……….. and presenting women as weak creatures that are ready to lose everything and ruin their lives without a man to protect them………….
I understand the love of a wife for her husband and her refusal to share him with another woman, and in case of widows men are more in need to have help than women in order to carry on with their children and daily responsibilities of children.
Women are capable of playing both roles of mothers and fathers, and I say that from experience………
Polygamy is the result of malicious interpretation of Coran, in order give men the privilege of having various wifes
Are you denying polygamy is allowed in Islam ?
Sister Samia, Salam alaykum.
You have made a very strong statement when you say that polygamy is a result of malicious interpretation of the Quran. I do not know your extent of Islamic knowledge, but my using a strong word like malicious, you are accusing renowned scholars and interpreters of the Quran of deception.
I am not aware of your experience and your state of mind, but please be careful, if you do not agree with something, express your opinion, but DO NOT ACCUSE OTHERS OF BAD INTENT.
With best wishes
May Allah Guide u ! I will like to see your interpretation of the quran
????? ???? ?????? ?????? ??????. When Allah allowed a man to marry more than one, it is due to his wisdom, knowledge, mercy. Yet we think we know what is best for us. It ishard for women to accept another wife in their husband’s life but when they accept with dificulty they get ajr for obeying Allah and for being good to another muslim woman and her kids. ofcourse it lays with a man to choose a wife (1st of not) on the islamic basis(the one with religion ??? ?????) and to be just with his wives and kids. Marriage is not all fun, it is a huge responsibility in donia and akherah.Men must not misuse their right given by Allah. Think of the responsibilities that comes with each marriage and o fthe ajr also that comes with it when you make it right and maintain it as per Allah’s rules. only then you will be a winner in any marriage in sha Allah.
I agree with you, thant I think that the story is whriting by a man.
sorry I mean the story is written by a man
How can you say that? Bring your proof
the prophet Mohammad did not allow Ali take a second wife!
it is a ridiculous story. with ridiculous arguments defending a rédicule cause.
Kindly read the profiles of Holy Personalities and their life style – dear Amina
there are couple of wives but for each time, there is a reason and it was very well accepted during their tenure.
The Prophet of Allah is reported to have said ‘you are not a Muslim unless you want for others what you want for yourself’ let us love others and wish them well
Let us not feel that we can’t have challenges we should be ready to sacrifice our happiness for others