Funny Definitions

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

Divorce: Future tense of marriage

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.
6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic: books which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

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15 Responses to Funny Definitions

  1. mustafa m dodh November 19, 2010 at 5:56 PM #

    you hit the nail on the head..

  2. Muhmmad Shahzad May 27, 2010 at 12:38 AM #

    well don sara i love

  3. Muhmmad Shahzad May 27, 2010 at 12:37 AM #

    good i whould like it.sara i want to know where do you live?

  4. Iftikhar May 26, 2010 at 2:28 PM #

    Gooooood to learn the definitions and take a creative approach.

  5. Baba G May 26, 2010 at 12:50 PM #

    Wao, what a definitions

  6. Rizwan May 25, 2010 at 1:23 PM #

    Very good sara You r great.

  7. Touqeer May 24, 2010 at 10:34 PM #

    good i whould like it.sara i want to know where do you live?

  8. Safdar Anjum May 14, 2010 at 8:14 PM #

    Modren deffinition of old terms.

  9. Dr.SSJ May 6, 2010 at 2:04 PM #

    Keep touching our hears SARA…………………..

  10. hassan jaffer April 28, 2010 at 12:50 PM #

    hey sam
    i am 32.jaff s & j are one.

  11. Dr. Ashraf Ansari April 20, 2010 at 12:30 AM #

    well done Sara
    Nice collection good effort

  12. Dr. Ashraf Ansari April 20, 2010 at 12:29 AM #

    very funny

  13. samuel April 19, 2010 at 8:55 PM #

    31.SARA : A person who keeps your mail box full everyday……………………………………………………………….:D:D:D:D:D

  14. samuel April 19, 2010 at 8:53 PM #

    Sorry but nothing new……………………………………

  15. shajahan April 11, 2010 at 2:07 PM #

    very nice definitions,sara u don’t have any other job,i vl give best comedy award 0000,for this