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Money isn’t everything!

Money can buy a House…………But not a Home Money can buy a Bed…………..But not Sleep Money can buy a Clock…………But not Time Money can buy you a Book………But not Knowledge Money can buy you Medicine…….But not Health So you see money isn’t everything. And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this […]

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Stupid Questions Asked by Lawyers

Here are some stupid attorney questions asked during trials. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war? How many times have you committed suicide? Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in? You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but […]

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Smoking is a slow poison – Short Jokes

Dentist (to the patient): For God’s sake, stop making those noises and waving your arms. I haven’t even touched your tooth yet. Patient : Yes, I know. But u’re standing on my foot. ————————————————————- Doctor: Smoking is a slow poison for you. Patient: It’s all-right. I’m not in a hurry. ————————————————————- Tim: Doctor, can you diagnose […]

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Computer Poetry – Very Funny

A computer was something on TV From a science fiction show of note A window was something you hated to clean And ram was the cousin of a goat. An application was for employment A program was a TV show A curser used profanity A keyboard was a piano. Compress was something you did to […]

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Boy & Girl – Very Emotional Story

Once there was a blind boy. He was engaged to a lovely girl. One day girl asked him  ” When will you marry me?” He said “I will marry you, only when I shall be able to see you.” After some days someone donated him eyes. He was very happy to see his love. But when […]

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Funny & True Quotes

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.  It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until […]

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Abort, Retry, Ignore

Once upon a midnight dreary, Fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bedsheets, Still I sat here doing spreadsheets: Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer. Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the “save” command […]

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Performing an autopsy

Performing an autopsy Do you recall approximately the time that you examined that body of Mr. Huntington at St. Mary’s Hospital? It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 5:30 P.M. And Mr. Huntington was dead at the time, is that correct? No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table wondering why I […]

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