Man to miser: Why do you always remove the batteries from the clock and keep them outside?
Miser: I want to extend the battery life and hence I put them in the clock only when I want to see the time.
Lady 1: My son is very well behaved.
Lady 2: How can you say that? Wasn’t he arrested and imprisoned for 5 years.
Lady 1: Yes, but he got out after 2 years for good behavior inside the jail.
Wife: I hate that beggar!
Husband: Why ?
Wife: Stupid man… I gave him food yesterday, and today he gifted me a book “How to Cook”
A woman went to the Doctor and said “When I looked in the mirror this morning, I saw my hair was frizzy, my skin wrinkly, my eyes bloodshot – what is wrong with me?”.
The Doctor replied “Well the good news is that your eyesight is fine”.
Teacher: “Johnny, what do you call the outside of a tree?”
Johnny: “No idea miss”
Teacher told angrily: “Bark, Johnny”.
Johnny: “Bow Wow Wow Wow”