5 Hilarious Husband Wife Jokes to Make You Laugh

The Married Life
First year: He is talking, she is listening.
Second year: She is talking, he is listening.
Third year: They both are talking, neighbors are listening.

The Diamond Necklace
Wife (on phone): Why are you still not home ? Where the hell are you ?
Husband: Honey! You remember that jewelry shop where you saw a diamond necklace and fell in love with it and I couldn’t but it for you as I had no money and said “Darling it’ll be yours one day”?
Wife (Happily): Yes dear! I remember that very well!
Husband: I am in the electronics store next to that shop

The Expensive Hairstyle
Wife comes back from very expensive hairdressing salon and asks husband:
Darling! How do you like my new hairstyle?
Husband looks at wife and says:
Don`t worry dear it`ll grow back fast !!!

Bank Robbery
A man with a gun in his hand robs a bank, turns to a customer and asks:
Did you see me rob the bank ?
The man replied, “Yes, I did”
The robber shoots and kills him. He then turns to a couple and asks the man, “Did you see me rob the bank?”
The man replied, “No sir, I didn’t, but my wife did!”

The Power of a Wife
A woman went shopping in a mall… At cash counter she opened her handbag to pay.
The cashier noticed a TV remote in her handbag.
He couldn’t control his curiosity and asked
“Do you always carry your TV remote with you?”
She replied ” No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me
for shopping today”

The story continues….

The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had
Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper why is he doing that.
He said your husband has blocked your credit card.

Moral: Respect the hobbies of your husband.

Story continues….

Wife took out her husband’s credit card from handbag
and uses it to clear all the bills.
Unfortunately, he didn’t block his own card.
Moral: Don’t underestimate the power of a WIFE.

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18 Responses to 5 Hilarious Husband Wife Jokes to Make You Laugh

  1. Mirza Abrar August 2, 2014 at 11:21 AM #

    That’s real a quality joke

  2. hussein August 1, 2014 at 9:18 PM #

    How unfair towards wives1

  3. kvkarunakaran June 19, 2014 at 12:56 PM #

    nice jokes

  4. Saad June 16, 2014 at 2:36 PM #

    Haha. Poor husbands. 😛
    Really hilarious ones. 🙂

  5. royalpharma June 8, 2014 at 6:04 PM #

    still i am 79 if i become 80 years only i will relectantively marry my sweet heart , should be age around 90 and we will seek two care takers to look after us ,, their age should be around 100 and still we need four nymphos to look after four of us to make a mini cricket team

  6. sharif123 June 7, 2014 at 11:26 PM #

    Great collection. Thanks a lot FFJ

  7. Vet A Momin June 7, 2014 at 9:18 PM #

    BD DIGITAL-PROMOTION & JOKE TOO! if liked & published pls. let me know!

    DiGiTAL-bangladesh-GIVES digital-Husband & digital-Wife IN-PEACE, how?

    H-for-Husband & W-for-Wife> you can read practical-INFO for our digital-JOY:

    H: honey my the dress & ornaments we have is enough for five years and my salary is paid automated-from the shop-owner as I am the manager $5000 p/m from it house-rent, gas, electricity, tax & washing-soap total 3500 is automatically by our DiGiTAL monthly pay-out. So we have to be economic to survive, remaining 1500 we can buy our food 15 day you buy & 15 days I buy!

    W: says ok, H: says by giving a digital-card as a moneybag W: says it is a card H: said no it is a money-digital-card of $750 & mine is $750 we have to go to a digital-super market that sells all sorts of food, fish & meat so we can buy daily & weekly, W: says again ok, now (H-W) decides 2-weeks marketing in 2-times-p/m together because they loves each other very much!

    1-month it was very peaceful now W: says I am sick I am to go see doctor how I do that, H: says ok that is good, W: was angry and said I am sick and you said it is good, H: said o’h no, not that because you are sick you need another sick-money-bag W: said what is that, H: says that is medical-card with it you pay doctor & medicine for any sickness W: was very happy & kissed him in pleasure, wife is healthy & home in peace!

    Suddenly their father & mother came from village W: opened the door H-was in work, W: took them on the sitting room and gave tea & cake they were happy indeed their son & daughter in law have a nice organised home!

    W: asked papa/mama how long you want to stay they said 2-weeks W: said ok, I have to ask my husband for another papa-mama-money-bag they asked what is that W: said that is a digital-card for your food & sickness and papa/mama said we have that W: was about to faint but she forget that her husband is newly married & rented the city house from his Job in digital-money-management, later on W: said I am surprised to know that now in peace she said my loving digital-husband will come at 6-p.m. when digital-husband came home they all lough & smile and husband said OK my digital-lovely-wife, wife was very happy and even W: called our digital-papa/mama, pap/mama laughed & laughed but H: said they are our respected papa/mama only to say (abbjan/ammajan in bangali culture it means papa/mama-too)!

  8. Anwar June 7, 2014 at 9:08 PM #

    Dearest Sara,

    Many thanks for the superior quality of your emails that inspire us and bring a positive sense of life to us

    best regards and wish you the best

    Anwar Mohyeddeen
    IT Manager

  9. Usha June 7, 2014 at 4:19 PM #

    Hilarious jokes. But the ‘The bank robbery’ joke sounded more gruesome than funny….

    • Sana - Editor FFJ June 12, 2014 at 11:03 AM #

      Husband and wife jokes are often like that 😀

  10. a June 7, 2014 at 3:56 PM #

    Really very very funny jokes.

    Thanks for sharing.

  11. shakeel June 7, 2014 at 12:09 PM #

    Nice jokes

  12. Misha June 6, 2014 at 10:35 PM #

    The Power of a Wife:
    Very wise wife!! ;D