The Funny English Language


We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,

But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,

Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,

Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,

And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?


We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

But though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.


We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,

We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing,


If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship…

We have noses that run and feet that smell.

We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,

While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language

In which your house can burn up as it burns down,

In which you fill in a form by filling it out,

And in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing…..

If Father is Pop, how come Mother’s not Mop???

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19 Responses to The Funny English Language

  1. Sonah October 18, 2012 at 5:22 PM #

    It is the ambiguity, contradictions,and unpredictable twist during usage that make the language interesting, exciting, offering unlimited room for change and innovation.and creativity. The English Language is indeed unique.

  2. mycoment September 23, 2012 at 6:18 PM #

    In our language, no such waste characters and like these stuffs. every character will sound.
    really ur jokes are nice
    Thanks Sara

  3. mycoment September 23, 2012 at 6:18 PM #

    In our language, no such waste characters and like these stuffs. every character will sound.
    really ur jokes are nice
    Thanks Sara

    • Sara - Admin September 24, 2012 at 7:06 PM #

      Whats your language?

      • mycoment September 25, 2012 at 10:31 AM #


  4. Vaseem September 23, 2012 at 12:17 AM #

    You Should see French Language… it will totally blow up your mind..
    If English is bad French is worst.

    • Sara - Admin September 23, 2012 at 1:45 PM #

      Well dint know that. Are you a French Vaseem?

  5. The_Engineer September 22, 2012 at 1:15 PM #

    And I used to think only pronounciations were weird in English ( like Soldier, Bridge, Knife, Knowledge etc)
    This is a whole new world of exceptions.

  6. Abdul September 20, 2012 at 9:07 PM #

    These mystery comes as a result that english language was derived, mixed of and combination of many language. 1st Anglo- Saxons i.e where the name was derived, england means land of angles they change it to england,originally anglo-saxons where from germany,they were later conquered by the vikings from denmark,that’s their way of making names they became angland,their encounter with french had alot of presence in the language,gramatically greek and latin had many influence because that time they were languages of scholarship and sunskrit language of india. The vocabulary came from many languages e.g spanish, Portuguese, celtish, scandinavians, etc. in a nutshell this is what made english greatest language and globally used, all as a result of bravery. Wake your people up and start promoting your local language. You never know what will happen tomorrow! ; )

    • Sara - Admin September 23, 2012 at 1:46 PM #

      Thanks for the History on English Language 🙂

  7. Mubarek AL-Amin September 20, 2012 at 7:37 PM #

    well if would English starts from the left to the right then the sense will not be Bright. `~`

  8. Shakil September 20, 2012 at 6:15 PM #

    Haha, in my country we r bilingual, speaking currently french. If u. Think the english language above described is strange or bizzare u shud hv a go at french. Completely horrendous when it comes to these exceptional things and grammar: OMG!!!!

  9. sk ashif September 20, 2012 at 4:33 PM #

    English Grammar is not systematic, It’s based on some weired assumptions and we must learn those!

  10. Zafar Iqbal September 20, 2012 at 2:39 PM #

    So true! English is no longer English. More Indians speak English than there are Englishmen in the world!!!! And more Chinese are learning English than the population of the US of A.

    Only in English we can be laid up in bed.

    A MOM uses a MOP; and then may mope; but a POP cannot POPE.

    Once, twice, thrice, and then no more…

    But English is the most popular and populous language the world has ever known!!!!

  11. hafis September 20, 2012 at 2:15 PM #

    real fun .. after a long time so something of substance and worthy of my 5 mins laugh … do send it kinds of these Sara …

  12. Ian September 20, 2012 at 1:35 PM #

    lol. Never saw an article like this. Great , thought English to be funny when started reading but seems its a kind of crazy also at the end of the article. Funny part is we all crazies (pardon me 4 saying so) know this crazy language and accept the way it is. Haha

    Thanks for the article Sara.

    • Sara - Admin September 23, 2012 at 1:48 PM #

      Welcome Ian.

  13. AbuAbbas September 20, 2012 at 12:37 PM #

    Wow really amazing and funny… Thumbs up 🙂

    • Sara - Admin September 23, 2012 at 1:48 PM #