Hilarious Quotes – Enjoy

An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.

 A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.

Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years.

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

He who believes that the past cannot be changed has not yet written his memoirs.

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

Now this is not a funny quote, but if you have any, add it in the Comments section below 🙂

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8 Responses to Hilarious Quotes – Enjoy

  1. Shiasta January 24, 2012 at 4:46 AM #

    Meeting is a place where everyone talks, no one listens and everyone disagrees after the meeting is over.

    Nurse is a person who wakes you up to give you SLEEPING PILLS.

  2. HAIDER ALI786 January 16, 2012 at 5:24 AM #

    nice one

  3. cant4getu January 15, 2012 at 9:00 PM #

    LOOOL! I love the college one and the conclusion one..
    Very nice indeed!

    1-Last night I lay in my bed looking at the stars thinking: Where is my ceiling?
    2-If you get lost in your thoughts, that means you are in unfamiliar zone
    3-When I die, I want to die like my grandpa in his sleep, not like the screaming passenger! <<<My grandpa did not die yet, but this is what I found funny…

  4. Nschougale123 January 15, 2012 at 2:58 PM #

    Marriage is a funeral where you can smell your own flowers.

  5. Mubarek Alamin85 January 14, 2012 at 7:25 PM #

    There was 1.2.3.

  6. Anonymous January 14, 2012 at 2:09 PM #

    i liked the last one (the one before the blue one)

  7. Tarrekko January 14, 2012 at 8:33 AM #

    The most 5 important things in this world are three: electricity and water.

  8. Tarrekko January 14, 2012 at 8:30 AM #

    All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your