Funny English Lines – Have Fun

I’ve got to sit down and work out where I stand.

If I save time, when do I get it back?

Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.

The statement below is true.

The statement above is false.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.

Dear FFJ Readers add you own funny lines if you are funny enough 🙂 

21 Responses to Funny English Lines – Have Fun

  1. nazmat1 April 14, 2014 at 9:50 AM #


  2. owenpatrick94 January 10, 2012 at 1:33 PM #

    oh cute funny lines , simply written with no difficult meanings involved .

  3. phoenix seo January 10, 2012 at 9:33 AM #

    That’s really funny Shanez. 

  4. Mubarek Alamin85 January 9, 2012 at 5:25 PM #

    f.U.n.N.y    {`~`}

  5. HAIDER ALI786 January 9, 2012 at 5:45 AM #


  6. Khalil Al Hooti January 9, 2012 at 4:57 AM #

    sara, u r soooo lovely, take care.. thanks for sharing…………
    wish u all the best…

    my 10 years old sister’s name is sara. so u r my sister toooooooooooo

    • Sara January 9, 2012 at 5:13 AM #

      wow. Its nice to know that.

      • Viquarhaider January 9, 2012 at 8:57 AM #

        Sara! Oh! This is my wife’s name… So, may I ……..

  7. cant4getu January 8, 2012 at 11:55 PM #

    LOOOOL! I love the 4th one 

  8. Shakabansh5 January 8, 2012 at 4:57 PM #

    Funny English jokes

    • Sara January 8, 2012 at 5:18 PM #

      Thanks Shakabansh.
      Pls share it with your friends.

  9. Shanez January 8, 2012 at 3:15 PM #

    this one is from funny church bulletins:

    Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

    Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at
    Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

    Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of
    those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your

    The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

    Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

    For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

    • cant4getu January 8, 2012 at 11:51 PM #

      LOL! My English teacher gave us these bulletins for an ENglish excercise…she died from laughing everytime she read the last one XD

      • Umair December 1, 2012 at 12:07 PM #

        How many times she has died? 😀

  10. Shanez January 8, 2012 at 3:11 PM #

    this could be a little out of the subject. this is a link to the funny math mistakes…..


    • Sara January 8, 2012 at 5:18 PM #

      That’s really funny Shanez.

  11. Muhammad Ikram January 8, 2012 at 11:52 AM #

    1. A friend in need is not my friend.
    2. Make a copy of old records before destroying them.

  12. abrahamadrian86 January 8, 2012 at 11:19 AM #

    hilarious. knob on tv to turn intelligence is a great thought .

    • Sara January 8, 2012 at 5:19 PM #

      nice to know you liked it.

  13. asif January 8, 2012 at 9:01 AM #

    I have two daughters both are girls

    • Engineer January 8, 2012 at 10:55 AM #

      Mashallah, you need one more to make it to Jannah.
      Even I have two girls.