3 Hilarious Jokes To Brighten Up Your Day !

panda#1 The Peanuts
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts.

One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime.

“Don’t worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway,” the old man replies. “Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M’s.”
#2 Does The Dog Bite ?
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”

The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.”

The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch!” He says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”

The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog!”
#3 The Meaning of “Panda”
A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.

The owner of the restaurant says, “Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a word. I don’t understand.”

The panda says, “Look it up in the dictionary,” and walks out of the door.

So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading “Panda”. It reads:

“Panda black and white animal; lives in central China; eats shoots and leaves.”

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3 Responses to 3 Hilarious Jokes To Brighten Up Your Day !

  1. kvkarunakaran June 7, 2015 at 1:38 PM #


  2. Hazim Ayoubi May 22, 2015 at 11:30 PM #

    Eats, shoots and leaves”.
    {Eats shoots and leaves}.
    But >> multiple meanings!
    shoots = sprouts, shoots
    leaves = pl of leaf, leaves 3rd person singular
    But Panda understood it wrongly eats, and shoots, and leaves.
    Because of poor punctuation and commas! The comma after the word eats was an error!

  3. Hazim Ayoubi May 22, 2015 at 11:21 PM #

    A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.

    “Why?” asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

    “Well, I’m a panda,” he says. “Look it up.”

    The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. “Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.”