A Real life Court Conversation
What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed autopsy, did you check for a pulse ?
Doctor(Witness) : NO
Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure ?
Lawyer: Did you check if the man was breathing ?
Lawyer: So then it is possible that the person was alive when you began the autopsy
Lawyer: How can you be so sure ?
Doctor: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar
Lawyer: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless ?
Doctor: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere !
A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
“How much does it cost for engineer brain?”
“$5 per gram”
“How much does it cost for programmer brain?”
“$10 per gram”
“How much for lawyer brain?”
“$1000 per gram”
“Why is lawyer brain so much expensive?”
“Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one gram of brain?”
A man and his little son were visiting the grave of the little boy’s grandfather. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little boy asked, “Daddy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?”
“Of course not, dear.” replied the Father, Why would you think that?
The tombstone back there said, “Here lies a lawyer an honest man.”