Khan’s Jokes – Short & Clean

Teacher : “Khan, you talk a lot!”
Khan: “It’s a family tradition”.
Teacher : “What do you mean?”
Khan: “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher”.
Teacher : “What about your mother?”
Khan: “She’s a woman”
Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?”
Khan : “The moon”.
Teacher : “Why?”
Khan : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”.
Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Khan : “A teacher”.
Teacher : ” Muammar Gaddafi not only chopped down his father’s Date tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ?”
Khan: ” Because Gaddafi still had the axe in is hand.”
Waiter : “Would you like your coffee black?”
Customer : “What other colors do you have ?”
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
Khan : “How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?”
Ali: “You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated”.
Teacher : “Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and


stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?”
Khan : “Brotherly love”.
Teacher : “Now, Khan, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”
Khan : “No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook”.
Patient : “What are the chances of my recovering doctor?”
Doctor : “One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died”.
Teacher : ” Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
Khan : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.”

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32 Responses to Khan’s Jokes – Short & Clean

  1. xyz December 5, 2014 at 2:49 PM #

    I agree with you brother Eid..

    Sara and her Admin Mr.Ali
    dont use muslims names in your
    funny jokes etc.

  2. Hula Hoop March 3, 2013 at 10:57 AM #

    You mudslimes need to buy a sense of humour.

  3. Jho November 6, 2012 at 11:38 AM #

    I enjoyed the jokes without focusing on the names or nations, but only in the situations it refering to. it enlightens my day. Thanks.

  4. Muhammad November 5, 2012 at 1:03 PM #

    During writing (or compiling) jokes, you can use “X” and “Y” as characters instead of persons’ names. But this way people will smile, and it will be tough to make them laugh.
    Jokes are Jokes!!!
    We shouldn’t be serious!!!!!!

  5. Naheed Roomy August 2, 2012 at 5:57 PM #

    COME ON,


    • Sara - Admin August 3, 2012 at 2:15 PM #

      Ofcourse Naheed. We don’t mean to offend anyone.

  6. Khalid Ahmed July 2, 2012 at 4:49 PM #

    I am so suprised to see so much bigotry and big headedness or (pigheadedness) as it’s said in English!! Basically instead of us teaching and learning from one another we argue and show how uneducated and hypocritical society we are!! Yet if you read and understand “Islam” which is a peace loving humble caring even for the slightest feelings not to hurt upset or embarrass anyone. If you are Muslims! then you will no doubt read or heard of Hadeeth’s of our beloved prophet (p,b,u,h) and other prophets and learned people said and did that they would never embarrass anyone. The biggest problem we have and that is we never admit faulty or ignorance! and if we did we would be a totally better and superior race, a person who admits he is wrong is a newborn person, he learns so much and accepts when he wrong becomes wise and very learned!
    Lets show respect to our Fantastic and the only true Religion “islam”, so we can be guide the true way of life lets learn from one another and not be so bigheaded and start to slander each other, and if someone corrects your english grammer he is not putting you down he merely correctively showing you how to become a respected educated person to whom people will listen to and understand what he/ she is saying and enjoy listening. Do it for Islam not for me or anyone! for the Love Of Allah swt.


  7. Proud to b AHMED January 29, 2012 at 7:59 PM #

    Omg these are supposed to be jokes some people shouldn’t take them literally and btw my last name is Ahmed, Sana and I don’t see what all the fuss is about from one muslim to another ??

  8. Bin Museimar May 31, 2011 at 11:18 AM #

    i wonder why all this hatred against
    the Muslimsplease let the muslims alone…you are trying to arouse their hatred

  9. Eid AlBalawi May 30, 2011 at 3:07 PM #

    Hey there

    first Ahmad is an Arabic Muslim name one of the Jokes u said 
    “Teacher : “Now, Ahmed, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”
    Ahmed : “No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook”. ”
    As Muslim we don’t do prayers before eating we say “Bismillah” Which is start with the name of the Allah “the God”

    second could you show respect to Muslims and use other names than the Prophet “Peace be Upon him” names which are Ahmed and Muhammad 

    • Sara May 31, 2011 at 6:04 PM #

      Hi Eid, 
      I agree with you. We need to be careful.
      Sara Admin

  10. meme May 30, 2011 at 2:07 PM #

    to Careezma 
    it’s written silly not selle

    • Careezma May 31, 2011 at 3:18 PM #

      Thanks for the Correction Dear “Meme”,,you know,,I’m not native speaker ..

  11. Careezma May 30, 2011 at 11:59 AM #

    Ahmed’s Jokes !!!

    -First,it’s written ” Ahmad” not Ahmed.
    -Second,Why is it showing an Arabic character under the old famous Arabic name AHMAD,, as a stupid one thinking in a stupid and Selle way ????!!!

    we are not stupid
    we are not Selle
    we are not shallow
    we are Arabs,,and I am so proud to be .

    • Asas May 30, 2011 at 2:04 PM #

      you are a type of fool.taking such small things on heart.every one has different accent different spellings etc.now would you disagree with some one who writes colour as color because he knows american eng and you know british. such  a big fool you are

      • Proud Arab May 30, 2011 at 5:05 PM #

        The original name of the student is Johnny not Ahmed. So Careezma is right. These jokes are offending to Arabs. Arabs are not dumb.

      • Careezma May 31, 2011 at 4:07 PM #

        hey there!! Thank you so for describing me like that,,It’s very kind of you..but,i would like you to know that my vision is far than Controversial about Linguistics here…but since you are thinking that way,,i believe that you are “Over Open Minded” Dear,,please be careful,,it might blown up..

        • Hamza Alhatimy Al Yamany April 24, 2012 at 3:22 PM #

          Ahmed/Ahmad Is Not Just Used By Arabs But It Is Used By All Muslims Worldwide Which Means It’s An Islamic Name. As The Sirname Suggest The Chatacter Is Khan Which He’s Not An Arab.

    • Sara May 31, 2011 at 6:32 AM #

      Salam All, 
      We never meant to offend anyone. We will make sure our jokes will not hurt anyone. 
      Sara Admin

      • Careezma May 31, 2011 at 4:13 PM #

        Please do Dear Sara,,

        going along together is better than conflict ..
        many thanks in advance

    • silentG June 2, 2011 at 11:23 PM #

      why do you claim to not be Selle? who else would Selle be then?? YOU ARE SILLY!! 😀 and you could as well be stupid for posting such a comment. And it’s written Ahmed in english.

      • Jordan_Ires June 3, 2011 at 4:34 PM #

        SilentG !!! hmmm i wonder !!!

        listen dud,,i get sick of people like you who are Swimming in the same direction of the Wave..the wave that controlled to Obliterateour and Blur our identity and our culture and our sense of ourselves and our faith in ourselves and our history and our capabilities by  slowly brainwashing and then bringing  their poisonous alternative ideas and place it to grow there … and i think you are a successful example of this process .. Congratulateyou know what??i prefer to be “SILLY AND STUPID” rather than being ” ?? ???? ” LIKE Uenjoy your silence

        • silentG June 3, 2011 at 11:22 PM #

          Now I’m pretty confident you need help, my arabian friend! you have a really massive “conspiracy” issue you’d need to talk to your doctor about. Nobody truly cares about your culture and your rubbish, you need to wake up and see the world, there are other nations out there and they could’ve been as well brighter and more important than yours because yours does not do anything except bitch about, smoke and protest. 

          • nasHa June 13, 2011 at 7:59 AM #

            Fellows camm down! Don’t start fight over the nations issuse coz everyone thinks that his nation is best in every prospect, so we have to respect everyones feelings…. fight / wars never brings peace…. at the end we all worship one “GOD”. i hope this clarify all…..

          • seeee June 13, 2011 at 8:55 AM #

            True, but I was just clarifying to him that his culture and tradition of hating on others and glorifying his crappy country does not sell anymore. He needs to improve to gain others’ admiration.

          • nasHa June 15, 2011 at 6:33 AM #

            agreed and thnxs for understanding! i believe that someone has to do something practicle to get respect rather then just claiming that we are the best. have a nyc day.

          • seeee June 15, 2011 at 10:28 AM #

            Exactly. Be blessed my friend.

          • nasHa June 18, 2011 at 6:04 AM #

            you are welcome, dear!

  12. Ramya Suresh May 30, 2011 at 9:40 AM #

    totally enjoyed the jokes!

  13. Khurramwarren May 30, 2011 at 7:06 AM #

    The Mommar Qadafi story is a real one, but it was Abraham Lincolin who chopped off his father’s tree. And today we know why Abraham Lincolin was not punished afterwards 😛

  14. Khurramwarren May 30, 2011 at 7:06 AM #

    The Mommar Qadafi story is a real one, but it was Abraham Lincolin who chopped off his father’s tree. And today we know why Abraham Lincolin was not punished afterwards 😛

    • annonomous May 11, 2012 at 11:54 AM #

      i dnt! could u tell me plz