20 Universal Office Rules – True & Funny!!

1. Rule 1. – The Boss is always right.
2. Rule 2. – If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.
3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.
4. Ph.D. stands for “Pull Him Down”. The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.
5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
6.. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
7. It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you are going to do.
8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
9. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
11. If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
12. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
13.. Following the rules will not get the job done.
14. If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
15. Everything can be filed under “Miscellaneous” .
16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work you are supposed to be doing.
18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.
19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.
20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

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13 Responses to 20 Universal Office Rules – True & Funny!!

  1. madhoor February 25, 2014 at 11:56 AM #

    absolutely proven the sayings

  2. narayanan padmanabhan August 6, 2013 at 3:28 PM #

    true in all circumstances

  3. ABDUL MATIN SHEIKH March 29, 2013 at 3:33 PM #



    • Ali - Admin March 30, 2013 at 10:03 AM #

      Welcome Abdul Matin.

  4. Mohammad Mansour March 3, 2013 at 1:44 PM #

    Hi Sara
    I noticed the Wording ” Universal ” in the title which means that said rules
    are applicable everywhere ?!
    Yes , We see the same but mostly in the firms of non western managements !

    • Ali - Admin March 18, 2013 at 3:08 PM #

      ok. So how about changing the title to “Non Western Management Rules” 🙂

      • Mohammad Mansour March 18, 2013 at 3:38 PM #

        Ha Ha ha Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
        NO , It will not indicate what I meant !
        Generalization is not fair.

  5. Sonah December 23, 2012 at 11:58 AM #

    The colonial mentality. Do as I say. Do not do as I do.Cigarette is bad for health. Do not smoke, said the Teacher, between two puffs on his pipe.

  6. skybeen September 30, 2012 at 9:54 PM #

    jokes are always there to make the one laugh at him and at the mistakes around in the society…..

    jokes make the people fresh after getting tired from routine work

    anyway,thanks for good jokes

  7. Zafar Iqbal September 9, 2012 at 11:52 AM #

    Ha! Ha!

    Old rules!!!!!!!!!! But always a welcome read.

    Thank you, SARA.

  8. Goldypearl May 15, 2011 at 12:15 PM #

    dear who is looking for a job, never ever read these rules because if you will, you would prefer to stay jobless

  9. Anonymous May 14, 2011 at 7:30 PM #

    haaaaaa lmao 🙂

  10. Shakabansh5 May 14, 2011 at 4:34 PM #

    Hi , Sara : I agree with these office rules mostly happined like this but practically not right. thanks any way .