#1 Playing of the Roof
A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat and also to be in touch with her mom.
The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right. Her husband said: The cat just died.
She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn’t you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was sleeping on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing.
By the way, did you talk to my mom, how is she? Husband: Yes, I did, she was sleeping on the roof.
#2 English speaking Course
A woman joins English speaking class.
One day when her husband came home from office, she says,
“Welcome Home, Darling!”
Husband: It was a very busy day in the office, I am very tired.
Wife: Rest in Peace, Darling!
#3 Before & After marriage
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the “Y” becomes silent
#4 Stages of marriage
Mad for each other.
Made for each other.
Mad at each other.
Mad because of each other.
Nice jokes.
Cat death on vacation anecdote, a favorite of my dad’s:
A man who was completely devoted to his cat finally was persuaded by his mom and brother to take a vacation, and get away from everything for a while. They promised to take good care of the cat while he was away, and urged him not to worry, but to enjoy himself.
However 2 days into the vacation, he gets a call from his brother.
Bro: I’m sorry about this, but I have some bad news
Man: It’s the cat, isn’t it? I knew it!! What is it, tell me about my cat!
Bro: Well, the cat’s dead, but….
Man: Oh no! How did it happen??
Bro: Well, the cat was just dead when I got up this morning, but…
Man: Oh, how terrible! And how terrible to tell it to me just like that! You know how I loved my cat! You know how much he meant to me! How could you just dump that news on me?? You could have been more diplomatic about it!
Bro: What??? But….
Man: You could have broken it to me gently! You could have told me that the cat was stuck on the roof, and was having trouble getting down, but you were getting the ladder and would be making sure it was okay. Then tomorrow you could have called and told me that you got the cat okay, but he’d hurt his paw, and you’d be taking him to the vet.
Bro: yeah, but…
Man: Then the next day you could have told me the vet said everything looked fairly good, but the cat was being kept for observation, just to be sure!
Bro: Look, bro…..
Man: Then the next day, you could tell me there were unexpected complications, but the vet was taking action and was still hopeful!
Bro: Do you really think…..
Man: Finally, the next day you could have told me the cat had died! Then I would have gotten used to the idea, and come to some accomodation with it, and been able to accept it better. Not like this, not dropped on me with no warning!!
Bro: Okay, okay!!
Man: Understand now???
Bro: Yes!
Man: Good. Maybe you’ll do better in the future. Now I need to settle down and work through this. By the way, how’s mom?
Bro: She’s stuck on the roof and is having trouble getting down.
Are they FOUR or just three jokes?^_^
Does the last joke , # 4 i mean, need correction (madly!) ?