What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know—but the flag is a big plus.
Salesman: Would you like to buy a pocket calculator?
Dumbo: No, thanks. I know how many pockets I have.
Definition of Optimist and Pessimist
An optimist is a man who looks forward to marriage.
A pessimist is a married optimist.
“Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play Tennis after the operation?”
“Yes, of course…”
“Great! I never could before!”
Patient to the eye doctor: “Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain.”
“Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking.”