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3 Hilarious Lawyer Jokes For You !

lawer#1

A Real life Court Conversation
What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed autopsy, did you check for a pulse ?
Doctor(Witness) : NO

Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure ?
Doctor: NO

Lawyer: Did you check if the man was breathing ?
Doctor: NO

Lawyer: So then it is possible that the person was alive when you began the autopsy
Doctor: NO

Lawyer: How can you be so sure ?
Doctor: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar

Lawyer: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless ?
Doctor: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere !

 

#2

Lawyer’s Brain
A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.

“How much does it cost for engineer brain?”

“$5 per gram”

“How much does it cost for programmer brain?”

“$10 per gram”

“How much for lawyer brain?”

“$1000 per gram”

“Why is lawyer brain so much expensive?”

“Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one gram of brain?”

 

#3

The Graveyard
A man and his little son were visiting the grave of the little boy’s grandfather. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little boy asked, “Daddy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?”

“Of course not, dear.” replied the Father, Why would you think that?

The tombstone back there said, “Here lies a lawyer an honest man.”

 

 

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7 Responses to 3 Hilarious Lawyer Jokes For You !

  1. mad October 29, 2014 at 6:08 PM #

    very funny

  2. amaa October 23, 2014 at 1:10 AM #

    This is shameful. You are jeopardizing the law profession in such an indecent behavior. But lawyers shall not be ashamed, you shall be for making a fool out of yourself publishing jokes about those who have prestigious career while you acquire none.

    • Sana - Editor FFJ October 23, 2014 at 6:54 PM #

      They are just jokes. Take it easy. We have jokes on other profession too like Doctors, Engineers, Scientists etc

      • Sammi October 31, 2014 at 5:28 AM #

        I think amaa is a lawyer 😛

  3. Hamma October 21, 2014 at 4:57 PM #

    About the most hilarious I have read to date!

  4. Shakil October 21, 2014 at 4:39 PM #

    Hilarious, really.

  5. sharif123 October 21, 2014 at 3:58 PM #

    Jokes of the month Sana. Hope you don’t have any lawyer as a reader otherwise you will come under contempt of lawyers.