Husband asks wife:
Why did you start making steaks different sizes ?
Wife: Honey, didn’t you ask for some diversity in our daily diet ?!
In the midst of recession, everywhere are layoffs and pay cuts.
An employee says to his boss:
I know why you always complain about my work. You want to fire me,
so when they cut your position you get mine.
During the day when wife looks in the mirror:
I need to lose some weight,so my husband loves me more.
Night time when she opens refrigerator:
Well, if he really loves me, he`ll love me as I am.