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The Art of Appraisal – Nice Conversation

Big Boss: This year your performance was good, excellent and outstanding. So, your rating is “average”.
UMA: What? How come ‘average’?
Big Boss: Because…err…uhh…you lack domain knowledge.
UMA: But last year you said I am a domain expert and you put me in this project as a domain consultant.
Big Boss: Oh is it? Well, in that case, I think your domain knowledge has eroded this year.
UMA: What???
Big Boss: Yes, I didn’t see you sharing knowledge on Purchasing domain.
UMA: Why would I? Because I am not in Purchasing, I am in Manufacturing.
Big Boss: This is what I don’t like about you. You give excuse for everything.
UMA: Huh? *Confused*
Big Boss: Next, you need to improve your communication skills.
UMA: Like what? I am the one who trained the team on “Business Communication”, you sat in the audience and took notes, you remember?
Big Boss: Oh is it? Errr…well..I mean, you need to improve your Social Pragmatic Affirmative Communication.
UMA: Huh? What the hell is that? *Confused*
Big Boss: See! That’s why you need to learn about it.
UMA: *head spinning*
Big Boss: Next, you need to sharpen your recruiting skills. All the guys you recruited left within 2 months.
UMA: Well, not my mistake. You told them you will sit beside them and review their code, and most resigned the next day itself. Couple of them even attempted suicide.
Big Boss:*stunned* (recovers from shock) Err…anyway, I tried to give you a better rating, but our Normalization process gave you only ‘average’.
UMA: Last year that process gave me ‘excellent’. This year just ‘average’?Why is this process pushing me up and down every year?
Big Boss: That’s a complicated process. You don’t want to hear.
UMA: I’ll try to understand. Go ahead.
Big Boss: Well, we gather in a large room, write down the names ofsub-ordinates in bits of paper, and throw them up in the air. Whichever lands on the floor gets ‘average’, whichever lands on table gets ‘good’,whichever we manage to catch gets ‘excellent’ and whichever gets stuck to ceiling gets ‘outstanding’.
UMA: (eyes popping out) What? Ridiculous! So who gets ‘poor’ rating?
Big Boss: Those are the ones we forget to write down.
UMA: What the hell! And how can paper bits stick to ceiling for’outstanding’?
Big Boss: Oh no, now you have started questioning our 20 year old organizational process!
UMA: *faints*
Note: U M A – U, Me or Anyone


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27 Responses to The Art of Appraisal – Nice Conversation

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  2. Sonah February 1, 2013 at 10:59 PM #

    This is the story of a Boss without any vision, confused about his mission,and possesses all the ingre dogs.edients to take the organisation to th

  3. Shahrazad El Natsheh January 29, 2013 at 9:28 PM #

    That’s actually a funny one, hehehe, but I actually hate bosses because they just almost do nothing only boss people when they don’t do their work properly, not all but most…

  4. wahab adegoke January 29, 2013 at 7:10 PM #

    Do we call this LUCK or how our leaders are TOYING with our lives or future? May GOD Almighty guide us aright.

  5. wahab adegoke January 29, 2013 at 7:05 PM #

    Do we call this process luck at work or how our leaders are toying with our lives or future? May ALLAH keep on guiding us aright

  6. Ashfak Abdul Razzak January 29, 2013 at 5:45 PM #

    I want to UNSUBSCRIBE from this Site. Can you please OMIT me and Please STOP sending messages. I HOPE that you will never MIND…
    Meanwhile thanking you in advance.
    Best Regards-Ashfak…(Ash)

  7. Ashfak Abdul Razzak January 29, 2013 at 5:43 PM #

    Dear Sara,
    I want to UNSUBSCRIBE from this Site Services NOW. Can you please Omit me from this Service and also STOP sending me messages. I HOPE that you will not MIND…
    Meanwhile thanking you in advance.
    Best Regards-
    Ashfak….(Ash)

  8. Mohammed January 29, 2013 at 4:35 PM #

    I believe that this is a good sample of appraisal process that is going on….even it was shown as a joke…but some organisation making it so complecated that you fint at the end

  9. Dilana January 29, 2013 at 4:24 PM #

    Hello Sara, I as well get 2 e mails same subject at once, as far i as remember i have subscribed only one time.would you please take care of it for me.Thank you in advance.

  10. Zafar Iqbal August 31, 2012 at 10:26 PM #

    Please no!!!!!!!!!!

    Too long a joke!

  11. Ahmed Abdel Hameed Shamikh April 17, 2011 at 9:43 AM #

    they used to do the same here in college of commerce, when evaluate the exam answers !

  12. Moh'd Khalaf April 2, 2011 at 7:08 PM #

    Really, it is one of the difficult process at the year end. especially, if we have a binding percentage or “Quota”. Such duty requires Justice, fairness and consciousness to act properly. Even this shall we feel the satisfaction if the parties in the organization are almost similar in many different aspects? How much we feel guilty when we act and deprive the others from their rights, while every one believes that he or she deserves that rating and has the proof . However, always ask God forgiveness. “YES Appraisal is very very very difficult”.

  13. Zohaib Mushtaque April 2, 2011 at 4:40 PM #

    nothing except hahahahahahahahahahahaha…universal truth

  14. Zulfiquar hosein April 1, 2011 at 3:58 AM #

    hello sara, for some reason you keep sending me two e mail of the same and i never subscribe to you. Can you please fix this.
    Thank you

  15. Zaidimed March 31, 2011 at 9:02 PM #

    The art of making people faint !!!!

    • Syed A K February 5, 2013 at 4:48 AM #

      yes it is..!!

  16. Mstanger March 31, 2011 at 8:38 PM #

    😀 this system is really ridiculous, yet the joke is very funny 😀

  17. Tausifhusain786 March 31, 2011 at 2:41 PM #

    niceeeeee

  18. Anonymous March 31, 2011 at 1:48 PM #

    lmaooooo 🙂
    Big Boss=Big Brother

  19. radia March 31, 2011 at 1:40 PM #

    ça reflete l´un des facteurs principals du sous- developpement .c´est facil de briser les competences . merçi Sara

  20. radia March 31, 2011 at 1:35 PM #

    it´s the same process of normalization practiced in arab countries .

  21. mustafa March 31, 2011 at 11:52 AM #

    great
    one of the best jokes here

  22. Mohsentahr March 31, 2011 at 11:31 AM #

    you killed me with one …. truely funny !
    bravo sara …

  23. nayera March 31, 2011 at 11:10 AM #

    awesome…thanks alot

  24. Medaae March 31, 2011 at 10:30 AM #

    I want to unsubscribe from this site service now, and I tried three times without any response, can you omitt me please and stop sending me messages if you never mind. Thank you very much.

  25. Fawzi alshannaq March 31, 2011 at 9:59 AM #

    Well done…… Thanks a lot . You’re always brainstorming my thoughts .