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Husband & Wife Jokes

Wife: ‘You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?’

Hubby: ‘When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.’

Wife: ‘You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?’

Hubby: ‘Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?’

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Wife: ‘What are you doing?’

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: ‘Nothing…? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.’

Husband: ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’

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A newly married man asked his wife, ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?’

‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!’

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Girl: ‘When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.’

Boy: ‘It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.’

Girl: ‘We ll that’s because we aren’t married yet.’

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Wife : ‘Do you want dinner?’

Husband: ‘Sure! What are my choices?’

Wife: ‘Yes or no.’

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22 Responses to Husband & Wife Jokes

  1. Mubarek.alamin January 17, 2013 at 12:20 AM #

    A Husband tells his wife he is very allergic to GOLD
    A Wife ask why is it?
    A Husband replies: LOOK at these Macintoshes Apple

  2. Syed A K December 24, 2012 at 7:15 PM #

    Ha Ha…funny. But bachelors who are going to get married may be frightened

  3. Hussain R HJI December 24, 2012 at 3:16 AM #

    sorry for cutting off the rest of puzzels. here are their con’t..

    3) underline the name given to a group of owls: Murmur lion, parliment,
    rafter, pace, wisp. (A: parliment)

    4) if femur is to leg, then corpus is to which of these ? wrist, shoulder, arm,
    foot, pelvis ( A: wrist.)

    5) underline which of these five words goes togather with clip. weight and cup,
    dance, strand, charm, chase, break ? ( A; chase)

    6) haw many minutes before 12 noon is it, if one hour ago it was three time as
    many minutes after 8 am ( A: 45 minutes)

    7) underline the two words which are oppsite in meaning? despondent,
    autocratic, optimistic, nostalgic, cautious, steadfast ( A: dispondent –
    optimistic).

    hope friends like it, and wish them all the best of luck.

    Hussain

    • Ali - Admin December 24, 2012 at 3:48 PM #

      Thanks Hussain for sharing these good puzzles.
      You can share more if you have.

  4. Hussain R HJI December 24, 2012 at 2:54 AM #

    Dear Sara,

    These are some”checkyour IQ”, copied from the book of Ken Russel Minas UK puzzel Editors and I would like to share tehm with my friends over your site.
    hope it finds your approval.

    1) which is the odd one? Bitch, Hound, Puppy, Tabby, Mongrel, ?
    ( A: tabby (the rest are dogs)

    2) underline the two words which are closest in meaning: low, flush, ruffle
    level, develop, sane ? ( A: flush, level)

  5. Mir Ali February 15, 2012 at 7:45 AM #

    there must be something about you sara, cause you are one heck of a writer and you share one of the best jokes and stories i have ever heard or read…. good jod and thanx for sharing….

    • Sara February 17, 2012 at 1:27 PM #

      Thanks for the compliments Mir.

  6. Adonis Argus November 3, 2011 at 9:19 AM #

    it seems that nothing could be worse than having a wife …

  7. Nacira_ September 8, 2011 at 8:24 PM #

    sooo funny

  8. DOLLY August 24, 2011 at 11:02 AM #

    hahahah

  9. Zahed August 20, 2011 at 4:48 AM #

    Almost all the jokes are good

  10. YusefQasemQufaanAl-Yemeni August 18, 2011 at 8:17 PM #

    haha lmaooo Nice!!
    really like the SECOND one LOL 😛

  11. Junedayz August 18, 2011 at 4:32 PM #

    hehehe! the one about the fortune is hillarious..greedy woman!
    and the kids, haha so true once your married there are so many things to worry about!

    thannx for sharing! =)P

  12. mustafa August 18, 2011 at 2:15 PM #

    the fortune one is great

  13. Mohammad A. Al-Ayoubi August 18, 2011 at 12:27 PM #

    The first two jokes are hilarious!
    Thank you for sharing. 

  14. Mujeeb August 18, 2011 at 11:59 AM #

    Very Funny Sara, thanks for sharing.

  15. A. A. Faraj August 18, 2011 at 9:50 AM #

    very very funny and sometimes truly funny

  16. HAIDER ALI786 August 18, 2011 at 9:40 AM #

    nice hahahaha

  17. Houssam August 18, 2011 at 8:58 AM #

    very nice 

  18. Anonymous August 18, 2011 at 7:05 AM #

    lol that’s really funny :b

  19. Humayundaud August 18, 2011 at 7:04 AM #

    lol …

  20. Amir Shahzad August 18, 2011 at 6:47 AM #

    Nice thanks for sharing

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