The Smart Husband & 1 more Joke

An overweight dumbo goes to his doctor and he puts him on a diet.

“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 6 pounds.”

When the dumbo returns, he’s lost nearly 15 pounds.

“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”

The dumbo nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.

“No, from skipping,” replied the dumbo.

The Smart Husband 

I sent a text to my wife last night, “Hi I’m at the park with some lads, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.”

I sent another text, ” I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary and at the end of the month I’m getting you a new car”

She texted back,”Oh my God, really?”

I replied, “No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message.”