You can’t have everything… where would you put it?
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years.
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
He who believes that the past cannot be changed has not yet written his memoirs.
A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.
Now this is not a funny quote, but if you have any, add it in the Comments section below 🙂