What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years.
A good lawyer can make it last even longer.
Arguing with a lawyer is like playing with a pig in mud:
after a while you realize that the pig actually enjoys it and you get the mud.
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they’d rather keep their clients in the dark.
What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them, but you never see them.