A bus load of lawyer were driving down a country road when all of a sudden the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer’s field. The old farmer after seeing what happened went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the lawyer.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and then asked the old farmer, “Were they all dead?”
The old farmer replied, “Well, some of them said they weren’t, but you know how much the lawyers lie.”
A doctor and an lawyer in separate vehicles collided on one foggy night. The fault was questionable, but both were shaken up, and the lawyer offered the doctor a drink from a pocket flask. The doctor took the flask with a shaking hand and belted back a couple of swallows.
As the lawyer started to put the cap back on the flask the doctor asked, “Aren’t you going to have one too, for your nerves?”
“Of course I am,” replied the lawyer, “after the Highway Patrol gets here.”
What’s the definition of a tragedy? A busload of lawyer crashes off a cliff and one seat is empty.
What’s the difference between an lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested, we call him an accomplice. When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested, we call him a defense lawyer.